Loyalty Has a Price

I am an idiot.

I can’t shake this feeling that I’ve shot myself in the foot.  Today (OK, technically yesterday, since we’ve passed midnight and all), I turned down a job with potential for growth — a job in an uber-casual workplace with no customer facetime.

I had originally interviewed for this job on a whim a couple of months ago, back when I thought the solution to my student loan crunch (aka: “The State of Kentucky helps themselves to 15% of my take-home pay because they don’t believe me when I tell them that I need every penny I get to, you know, live”) was to take on a part-time job.  I knew it was not a great idea when I did it, because I currently work in a 24/7 business, and being in management means I’m on call for pretty much all of them.  To complicate matters even more, there’s only two of us right now who are trained to work each shift, which means I never know when I might be called in to work when someone calls in sick.  Then, to further muddy the waters, I picked up some part-time administrative/sales work at one of our other properties, which may or may not be temporary.  Well, I kind of forgot about it since I didn’t hear anything after the interview, but the nice people called me today to offer me a position, and I cringed when I told them I had to turn it down. 

On one hand, not only do I love my job, but I also just passed the five-year mark in a family-owned business and have been promised the general-managership of it when we build our new property.  On the other hand, I was promised this position over two years ago, back when we believed we would be breaking ground on this new property in a few short months (yeah, the lodging industry has not bounced back, no matter what the gu’mmint tries to tell you). 

On one hand, I’m paid reasonably well for what I do (24-hour on-call-ness aside) and am very high up on the food chain (though that’s really been the result of longevity more than ambition — I’m not really that ambitious).  On the other hand, how long should I wait for a promotion I’m about 72% won’t even happen, especially considering that there’s no “up” left for me here, and I gave up my raise this year so that some of my desk staff could have it instead?  

On one hand, we’re heading into our busy season already short-handed and I don’t have it in me to leave my coworkers, many of whom I regard as family, in the lurch.  On the other hand, there is never a good time for a long-term employee to depart, and don’t I owe it to myself to find the best employment situation I can?  I guess what it comes down to is that while I truly believe my loyalty is appreciated at my current location, I’m pretty sure that, in the end, it will remain mostly unrewarded.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Well, anyway, it’s done and now that I’ve gotten it out of my system through a disjointed and probably not-very-grammatically-correct paragraph, I’m going to put it behind me.

But I’m pretty sure it’ll bite me in the ass later, when I least expect it.

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