To My Badass Mother

(My thanks to Uncle Henry for scanning a ton of old photos and putting them on a CD several years ago, because I just realized I don’t have any good digital photos of my mom.  I do, however, have a ton of pictures of the back of her head, or her shoulder, or her left earlobe.  She’s really good at ducking cameras.)

To the marvelous lady who:

  • Taught me to walk properly in high heels (and that only trashy girls walk on their toes while in heels).
  • Tried to teach me to dance (epic fail, by the way).
  • Nearly got into a fistfight defending my honor during a middle school football game.
  • Let me wear the abovepictured dress as a Halloween costume.
  • Gives the world’s greatest back rubs.
  • Escaped a dysfunctional, abusive family, and as a result, never once spanked, slapped, or otherwise corporally punished me.
  • Brought me up to love animals, children, and Frosted Mini Wheats.
  • And a million other things, every day.
Oh, yeah, and thanks for that whole birth thing, too!

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